Family Stress

[FTK]

I know others have had to experience this so I thought I would bounce it off the board. I am a Local LEO w/ 9yrs +- experience. Prior to that I was in the US Army and moved around the World & the US alot. I am really trying to break into Fed LE. The family stress that I am having is my wife REALLY doesn't want to move out of the area that I am living now. Our families are about an hour away and she hasn't travelled much, other than her 6 yrs in college which was in the same State as we currently live. I am trying to stay near the West coast to keep her somewhat close to her family, but that still doesn't seem to be good enough. Any thoughts from those that have been in my shoes??

I know this is a little off base from what the forum was started for but it seemed like the logical place to post my concerns.

Thanks & Stay Safe...

[dmclark]

Not really off base. We're here to discuss stressors and what we can do about them and you seem to have an issue there.

First, this is a situation that you control. Relocation is a definite stressor for your wife in her present understanding of what that means. It will be STRESSFUL to you if you don't understand that you have to accept your responsibility to your REACTION to your situation. YOU have the control on this situation.

I would talk to her and lay out your goals for federal law enforcement. Some federal LE agencies are more mobile than others. If you have a specific agency in mind, lay it out to her and seek her support. You should assume that there is some middle of the road that might satisfy both of you. Find out what really concerns her about the relocation possibilities. Is is really that or something else? Seek it out.

There's a fellow named Harold Kushner, who wrote a book called "When All You Wanted Isn't Enough". He said there are only two tragedies in life....One of them is not getting what you've always wanted....the other is getting it! You've got to ask yourself at what point you're going to be satisfied? And what about your wife and family?

You've got some homework and some discussion with your wife. My suggestion would be more conversation on the issue and please let us know how you make out. DM