key words "you're different"

[jaybird]

I was reading another post on here and in ATF SAC's response, he said, "someone who cares about you says you have changed, you probably have."

My mom told me that I have changed and I am "different" now. Not in a bad way did she put it, but she see's that I'm not like I used to be before I started doing this job.

The thing is, I can see the one change that she mentioned. I'm quieter now. I just don't talk much any more. I don't know if that's good or not. I just don't feel that I have much to say. I feel the talkativeness is sort of a turn on and turn off thing. When I'm at work, it's on, and when I'm not, unless I feel the need to pipe up and talk, it's off. More often than not when I'm at home, its on off. (maybe I need to get out more or something, but its hard because the folks I hang with have differing schedules, more on that later)

I've read on the board, and this scares me, that this type of thing can stem from alienating friends, family, etc.

At any rate, I can give you some background on me.
So far I've been "on the job" for three years this past October. I think (and don't take this as complaining, because I like the shift I work) that being assigned to midnights has made it "harder" to keep up with the people that I used to because of different schedules, and non normal off days etc. I'm the only person in what I would consider my "group" if I could be more in it that doesn't have a "normal people job with normal people off days." I guess that said, it makes it hard to relate with them because I am always getting, "are you off this weekend?" "no." "well that sucks"
I just sit there thinking, "You DA, why would my offdays just magically change and I'm off?" When off days change, which is usually never, I call up those in the know and tell them, "hey, off days are different, lets see if we can get together."

Anyway, this post culminated when I found myself sitting here at 0200 hours awake, because I can't sleep. And I have a school to be at in the am at 0730.

One gripe of midnights I have is the sleeping. Is it me or does anyone else go through sleep cycles where sleep is normal and then all of the sudden, without any cause I can see, it all screws up and I can't sleep at all, or nap through times? Bleh

Ya'll have a good one,

[DelC]

Originally posted by jaybird
. . . he said, "someone who cares about you says you have changed, you probably have." . . When taken out of context, this statement is probably still true, but it shouldn't be taken in a negative way. People do change for the good.


. . . My mom told me that I have changed and I am "different" now. Not in a bad way did she put it, but she see's that I'm not like I used to be before I started doing this job.. . . Regardless of what anyone says, the very nature of working in LE will change you. (Again, this shouldn't be taken as a negative) I would say this is true with any line of work, not just LE.

[AuntieDispatche]

I agree with DelC:
Regardless of what anyone says, the very nature of working in LE will change you. (Again, this shouldn't be taken as a negative) I would say this is true with any line of work, not just LE.

I'm a dispatcher and my family has seen changes in me over the last 10 years. My nephew said I talk funny (every now an then an affirmative or negetive slips in I don't normally use the 10 codes in conversation). I was telling my sister about an accident we handled (after the fact when it was public knowledge) that killed a 17 year old boy. As I was telling her about it, I was trying not to cry. She commented that at least I could still feel bad about something like that. And the last thing I want to do when I get home is listen to a scanner or talk on the phone.
I don't think you could do your job and not change, especially as an officer.
I agree shift work sucks. I have missed a lot of stuff because I was scheduled to work. But I knew that was the nature of the job. I've been lucky, I have a very understanding family. More than one Christmas was arranged around my schedule. I try to use my time off as best I can. My friends know I work a crazy schedule, so when we try to make a point to get together. Sometimes it spur of the moment, sometimes it's planned out a month or so ahead. What I've found is my true friends will be there even if I haven't called or e-mailed them in weeks.
I won't even start on sleep...that's one of my obsessions :-)
Sorry didn't mean for this post to get so long. Just my thoughts, hope they help in someway
Mary

[ATF SAC]

Del has a good point, maturity changes you as well. However, if change is noted, you have to assess whether it is ok or not. Isolation into the group is not good although growing discretion is. If you feel like 4 of 9, probably not so good. Your schedule is an issue, but so is any sense you have that old pals have all the load to include you in. You have some load too to reach out and find a time that works and keep those friendships and contacts alive. Try to see it like when a good pal gets married and has a kid. Not as available but good to make the time to see the pal and maybe be supportive of how nice the kid looks.

Mids rip. couldn't believe we still made 4am when I was on it. What for. Only me out there.