View Full Version : Having a very hard time and need some support
netman1019
12-24-2003, 19:26
I'm pretty overwhelmed and I wanted to put my thoughts down here b/c I really could use some support and prayers.
I don't know how else to say this besides just saying it: My wife was 8 months (32 weeks) pregnant and our baby died in the womb. My wife delivered today on Christmas Eve. What compounds our suffering is that she miscarried last year at 19 weeks also in late December. What made it VERY difficult for me is to see my wife suffer for 20 hours (baby was breach delivery...butt first) trying to deliver our baby and we both knew the outcome.
The doctor felt the baby probably died suddenly, and perhaps on Sunday or Monday. This was pretty much confirmed when she delivered b/c we discovered our baby had the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck FOUR TIMES and was tightly knotted in 2 places.
To say my wife and I are devastated is an understatement. I can't begin to describe the profound shock, sadness, anger, etc we're feeling. My wife was scheduled to deliver via c-section during the week of Feb 2nd, so we only had about a month to go.
There's a lot of discussion about what kind of stress people experience on the job, but today this is an example of the type of stress that happens at home.
Please say a prayer for us.
Jim
PaulNunis
12-24-2003, 20:13
You and your wife deserve every possible prayer and good thought that there is...I cannot imagine what you two are going through, and I wish that there were a better way to convey my condolences.
Paul E. Nunis
You both are in my thoughts and prayers.
First, you're on the right track in communicating your stress and the strain that it puts on you and your wife at this difficult time. My strong recommendation is to consult a counselor in your area that has some experience in family loss. There are also probably organizations that offer support for your wife in this difficult time. Seek them out and get that support ASAP.
Second, your work schedule may have to be cut back at this time to offer her some much needed support. Talk to your supervisors and let them know you're going to need some extra time off for family support issues. If your department has an EAP, contact them and openly discuss the situation.
Third, as your know, your tragedy has come at the most difficult time of the year. Make sure that you keep your wife involved with you in your grief counseling and if you have family near you, get them involved as well.
You both WILL get through this. You've got some tough weeks ahead. PLEASE stay in touch with your friends on the Forum and let us know if we can be of any help.
Good luck and God Bless you both. DM
Time Traveller
12-24-2003, 20:30
I too offer my prayers to you and your family...I have lived through the same thing..it does not get easier, only time will lessen the pain and the sorrow that you feel. I cannot express how much I feel for you....I will include you and your wife in my prayers.
God Bless you and your family
TANKMGA8
12-24-2003, 20:45
My prayers aare with you and your wife.
Make sure that you support each other, together you WILL make it through this difficult time together.
I too am very sorry to hear about your loss. You and your wife will be in my thoughts and prayers as well.
Jim,
My sincerest condolences on the loss of your child. My prayers go out to you and your family. There is never an easy way to handle such a devasting loss, but know that God is watching over you and your family.
AuntieDispatche
12-25-2003, 04:54
I can't say I know what you are going through, I can only imagine how terribly painful this must be for you and your wife. Please accept my heartfelt condolences and I will keep you in my prayers. May God's grace sustain you both.
Mary
MrJim911
12-25-2003, 05:44
All I can do is offer my prayers and echo what dmclark said.
You and your wife are in my thoughts and prayers. I can't say that I truly understand your loss. I have lost loved ones, but each experience it truly different and personable. I can tell you that as time passes it will become easier. Never forget to lean on friends and family for comfort.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you. DM is on the money with his advise. There can be a temptation to hide in the work which would be a mistake.
Jim,
Words cannot express the sympathy my family has for you and your wife. We will be praying for you.
Cowboys
governor
12-26-2003, 12:34
I went through a similar situation in July 2001. My best advice is to communicate with family and friends and let them help you during these difficult times.
Ozarks911
12-28-2003, 07:59
I am so sorry to hear of your family's loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you all. Hold, comfort and be there for each other as much as possible. Seeking support from professionals and/or others who have gone through this as well should also be helpful.
Upon searching the web, I found the following website and thought it may offer comfort and support:
http://www.angelsinheaven.org/.
May God be with you.
Michelle
kingpervis
12-28-2003, 10:43
My sincere condolences for the loss of your daughter, you will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Firewoman203
12-30-2003, 19:49
My most heartfelt prayers and thoughts are with you and your family. I can not imagine what you and your wife are going through at this time.
Mel
ArLawman
12-31-2003, 03:27
Even though we have never met, I am thinking about you and your wife. I hope ya'll stay strong and keep on keep'n on. Feel free to pm me anytime.
ArkLawman
k9cop21811
12-31-2003, 13:12
The fact you and your wife have to deal with this just sucks. It's great to see you are in fact dealing with it, however. Some friends of ours also lost their child recently in a similar fashion. I will pray for you and your wife just as I do the friends that I know.
My condolences to you and your wife on the loss of your daughter. I can't even begin to imagine the grief and pain you must be going through. I'm very sorry. :(
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Hey Netman,
I'm sorry. . .I can't imagine either what you and your family are going through. My wife and I send you our love.
Ron
Netman
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your wife.-----ZZ
CollegeBoy427
02-25-2004, 20:10
Sorry to hear about your loss. You are in my prayers.
zach
netman1019
02-25-2004, 20:46
Hi everyone,
I wanted to give an update as to what's happening with my wife and I.
My wife is back to work after being out of work for about 5 months (disability + previous bedrest). I'm glad she doesn't have to sit home anymore. Being at work and spending time with her colleagues I think will benefit her. Her coworkers and new supervisor have given her a warm welcome. Thank goodness her supervisor feels strongly about quality-of-life at the job.
Last week we had a private service at our church. It was just my wife, the priest and myself. It was quite sad, but not as difficult as I feared it would be. I guess that means we're healing...slowly. Not forgetting our little angels (we lost one the year before), just coping with the loss a bit better.
Our neighbors have been fantastic. My co-workers and employer at the job I just left were phenomenal. Very supportive and they paid me for the weeks I was out, which they REALLY didn't have to do. Our church was great. Naturally our family was there when we needed them. Above it all, we were there for each other.
Last but definately not least, I want to thank everyone on 911jobforums who showed their support, either privately or publicly. You folks are great. I appreciate all the kind words and messages everyone has sent.
Thankfully the new year has started with good news. My wife is back to work with a new supervisor she likes. Also, landing a position with Custom & Border Protection (w/ DEA still a possibility) was such a relief. I start work on Monday and I can't wait. I'm VERY excited.
Thanks again to everyone. One day at a time...
Warmest Regards,
Jim
netman1019 thx for the update.
It's good to hear that everything is getting back on track.
Hey brother, glad to hear things are getting better for you and your wife. You are both in my thoughts. Take care
Netman1049,
Glad to hear that you and your wife are doing better. I'll keep your family in my prayers. Congrats and good luck with the new job!!
Take care
Ranger337
04-29-2004, 05:47
I would like to extend my deepest sympathies to you and your wife for your loss. I also would like to say I am happy to hear that you both are coping as well as you can in such a difficult situation. I was glad to read your update post about how well you both are doing.
I will continuously pray for you, and your wife.
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