How much is to much

[CustomsCop]

How much is too much alcohol? On my off days when my girlfriend works (she is a public safety officer so our schedules conflict), I end up finding myslef polishing off a bottle of crown royal because Iam bored. I generally was used to hanging out and doing things with her in my off time but now that I dont see her that much, I just find myself having a drink here and there which turns into more than just 1 or 2 with a coke. My town dies at 6pm, so doing anything hobby related is out of the question and its either watching tv, going on a walk (but its too damn cold so thats out) or having a drink. Any suggestions?

[124exp]

how about computer games? I find them helpful when I'm bored. (I'm talking the real games, the ones that cost $30-$50, not flashgames)...

Another thing, don't buy alcohol. How can you drink alcohol if you don't have it?



just my 2 cents

[DelC]

Originally posted by CustomsCop
. . . I end up finding myslef polishing off a bottle of crown royal because I am bored. . . . Ahhhh, I think you may have a problem here?? Even if that bottle is a 1/2 pint, I suggest you start attending AA meetings. Especially if you’re doing the drinking alone, as they say this is a warning sign. Maybe get a dog or cat, so you have someone to drink with??

On the serious side, get yourself a hobby, i.e., collect baseball cards, license plates or get into restoring a classic auto. What you spend on booze will pick up some nice baseball cards or license plates on eBay.

[Sgt Jack]

My thought is that maybe the drinking is sort of filling the void so to speak....with your girlfriend not being around as much...alot of people use food or drink or worse to fill that void in the thought that there's some comfort in it..It's always there...But as time goes on you have a law of dimished returns..takes more to get that desired affect this is where one can run into problems....I've also found from personal experience that too much time alone sometimes isn't a good thing (perpetually single myself)...I'm guessing that you live in a area that's rural or does't have much going on...I'd suggest trying to get in contact with folks you haven't seen in awhile..old friends family etc...or try to plan nights out with friends nearby..(This one can be difficult depending on peoples scheduals)..Hobbies or some type of work shop are good ideas too...I liked Delc's auto restoration idea alot....not sure about if you have a drinking problem..someone that works in substance abuse could tell better...I'd say with some of what you told us there maybe some flags.....also I like having beers..alot of them sometimes..so it's something that needs to be kept in check.....On a lighter note the cat does drink with me sometimes but if he has more then 3 he tends to get loud and bother the neighboors...

[mcsap]

That sounds like a lot of booze to me. Hard on your liver and a lot of calories too. There has got to be something else to do . You don't want to end up looking like Ted Kennedy do you ?!

Computer games can be great and addicting ( the good ones as mentioned previously).

I got into ham radio about 10 yrs ago. You can get in without having to know morse code too. There is a test on electronics knowledge but it is NOT difficult.

How about doing some sort of physical fitness while watching the TV ? Ride a stationary bike , treadmill etc. It HELPS when you can watch TV and do this!

Bad thing is that if you are drinking and want or need to go out, you can't drive yourself.

[kb75]

How about setting a goal of running a 5K or participating in a pump-and-run (benching then runing)? This will give you the opportunity to join a gym or running group, maybe make a New Year's resolution to become more fit. Drinking alcohol and training for sports doesn't always mix.

Now, if you don't like to PT, what about taking a class? There are ususally free or inexpensive classes held at community centers, the YMCA, or a college. Martial arts, stress relief, basket weaving? Something to expand your circle of friends and maybe find a new interest. Good luck.

[ATF SAC]

Straight up you are at a level where you are medicating something. Come by this honest, wife and I are children of alcoholics and have a fondness. Hobby would be good, exercise would be good, session with a counselor would be excellent. You are at too much or you wouldn't be posting and circumstances as you describe involve a little loneliness and lack of regard for your own company.

Not even asking where you started the dog you are polishing off, happy to take this to PM with you, but solo drinking to excess on a regularly scheduled basis is ng. also it is not the town's fault that it lacks entertainment for you. Lots of better uses to make of the time, but you need to assess what it is that causes you to use it the way you are.

Stay with us pard and let's work this out.

[dmclark]

You're at the "too much" level CustomsCop. Big Time. You're bored or as ATFSAC stated, you're medicating over something.

You can handle this in several ways. First would be an immediate "take a break" from the booze and develop some new healthy habits. Like the gym, walking, running, going to school. etc.

Second, if you find that the take a break route is too tough on your own, you might consider going to your agency EAP and asking for some help. I know that's tough, but they can set you up with some time off and a counseling program for a period of time.

Third would be a balance between the two and you'd have to work with that on your own. I'd sit down with your girlfriend and discuss this with her and what you both think might be some underlying reasons and act on it quickly.

You've got some mental health and physical health issues working there and you need to get a handle on it NOW. PM me if there's anything you want to discuss off line.

Lastly, I think that you deserve alot of credit for discussing this on the Board and understanding that you need to do something about it. DM

[MechMan]

I may not be the one to answer this since I have never tried alcohol (never will either), but whenever I find that I have too much time on my hands I find something that interests me and pursue it. Take a class in photography, computer programming, cross-stitching (yuck), geneology, or whatever interests you. It's a great way to develop a hobby, be around people, and may lead you towards other interests that you didn't know you had.

Good luck,

MechMan

[ATF SAC]

Juice is the med of choice of Public Safety personnel. We operate in a wired environment which we fuel with coffee and other caffiene rich beverages, thus our institutional love for the widely available downer alcohol. We have little rituals, or did - policy in this area has widely and on balance, wisely, cracked down- which were named by Joeseph Wambaugh as Choir Practice. Room full of wrecked cops carrying more firepower than Custer did into little Big Horn. Feds probably gave up enough G rides to this back in the day to put another shift on at GM. We distinguish ourselves from winos in that we show up on time, drink in packs and function pretty well. Of course a fair number lie to our doctor about our consumption habits and from time to time take those little tests they print in Parade or the newspaper and go "Whoa!". Some of us drink too much, some of us can't stop. Not exactly just a matter of developing another way to fill time.

Once upon a time this was stress management 101, "Stop for a Pop." It's all no good. Certainly not a Prohibitionist, but having a designated driver so 4 other cops, firemen, paramedics or whatever can tie one on may be more socially responsible but is sometimes just enabling. Maybe depends on the number of times or something. Point of this forum in a way is to help each other learn about root causes and appropriate, healthy responses to stress. With regards to alcohol it needs to be understood that it never helps and in fact accelerates the damage already being done by the underlying stressors. There's an old saying, "Know your sin." Everyone of us has compensators going on to manage down from the high wire act, to manage symptoms without dealing with the root causes. Find yourself asking "What the hell am I doing here when I should be home?" or "Why the hell am I doing this?", then you are asking a very brave question which may be better stated as "What is wrong?" Very important to get the answer to that question. Word of final caution, your sin does not have to be in itself bad for you. Stud muffins working out every off duty hour may be burning off stess while their wife is home waiting for them and their marriage is crumbling because Officer Cutbody has closed off the relationship.

Not good enough, my friends, to just say well at least I don't run with the ladies or drink. Sort of need to assess whether we are in balance on a regular basis and deal with whatever is making the scales tip.

My Grandmother pictured me in a Roman collar , she would love this post.

[CustomsCop]

Id like to thank everyone for their reply.

This post took me a while to write because I guess I have been feeling lonely and I was so used to having the gf around and with her now being a PSO, it was weird having her doing the same job Iam doing (plus the added duties of being a firefighter and EMT) and not being around. Unfortunatly with the weather being around 10 below zero in this forsaken frozen tundra here in Michigan, anything outdoors is not gonna happen till the spring thaw. I also cant setup a train layout because of space limitations and unfortunatly our complex doesnt allow for pets.

I really wont post too much more because in all honesty, I dont know what else to write. This post was my wake up call when I wrote that I knew I have a problem. I also dont want to end up like so many guys who just end up sinking themselves more into the bottle and get withdrawn.

[k9cop21811]

CustomsCop,

What about taking some classes towards a degree (or another degree, whatever the case may be) or something. Plan some trips up north when you and your girlfriend are off. It's nice up around Traverse City any time of year in my opinion and there's plenty to do, even in the winter. You can learn to downhill and cross country ski. Snowmobiling is a lot of fun too and you can rent machines pretty easily too.

Also, I know one of the local police academies is always looking for volunteers who are in LE to help out with training scenarios. Somebody with your experience could certainly help in that arena. A hook up like that might even get you some free range time. You can't shoot too much, especially if you carry a gun for a living.

You can also buy a house. I know from owning two of them that there is always something to do.

I feel strangely responsible for helping you out here since I too live in Michigan. Since the wife and I are from here, however, I have no idea what it's like to live in this state and not really know anybody or have anything to do. If you ever want an idea about where to go for a short trip or have any questions about the state, you know where to find me.