Ozarks911
01-11-2004, 20:42
My Gradfather was admitted to the local hospital for the flu on 12/4 and left our world on 1/6. Mom and I were with him when the nurse came in and told us they called the time of death at 05:35 a.m. This was my first experience, up close and extremely personal, being with someone when they die.
While my Grandfather was in the hospitl, my Dad was also hopitalized for a week before Christmas (Diagnosis: CHF, COPD, and emphysema). He lives alone and I had to be there with him. Had to be there; wanted to be there; and needed to be there. Would have been easier if he didn't live so far away.
At the same time, I also felt like I had to be here with Mom for Grandpa, and work as well. Wanting and needing to be three places at once really sucked. Couldn't work off the stress in my usual manner by going to the gym because all of my spare time was spent bedside at hospitals. Stayed overnight with Grandpa for three nights before he passed and would probably feel just terrible if I hadn't.
Gave a brief personal eulogy at his funeral and was a pallbearer (sp?) when we went graveside. (Female pallbearers aren't uncommon my sister and I were told.)
Just returned home from being away for about four days. Road trip with Mom ;) to stay with relatives before, during and after the funeral. Actually got drunk last night with my cousin. Ten shots of tequilla didn't phase me and I drink, at the most, three times a year.
Will go to the gym tomorrow then back to work. My back has been hurting so bad when I sit that I almost need help getting up. Fingers are crossed that going back to working out regularly will cure that.
So, if you've made it through my ramblings this far, thanks, and I've got a question: Is it selfish of me to want to go off and be alone for a couple of days? This means that my Mom, who lives just across the street, will be alone pretty much when I'm away. I feel like my compsure button is going to explode if I have to keep answering questions and making big decisions, and the lakeside cabin beckons.:star:
While my Grandfather was in the hospitl, my Dad was also hopitalized for a week before Christmas (Diagnosis: CHF, COPD, and emphysema). He lives alone and I had to be there with him. Had to be there; wanted to be there; and needed to be there. Would have been easier if he didn't live so far away.
At the same time, I also felt like I had to be here with Mom for Grandpa, and work as well. Wanting and needing to be three places at once really sucked. Couldn't work off the stress in my usual manner by going to the gym because all of my spare time was spent bedside at hospitals. Stayed overnight with Grandpa for three nights before he passed and would probably feel just terrible if I hadn't.
Gave a brief personal eulogy at his funeral and was a pallbearer (sp?) when we went graveside. (Female pallbearers aren't uncommon my sister and I were told.)
Just returned home from being away for about four days. Road trip with Mom ;) to stay with relatives before, during and after the funeral. Actually got drunk last night with my cousin. Ten shots of tequilla didn't phase me and I drink, at the most, three times a year.
Will go to the gym tomorrow then back to work. My back has been hurting so bad when I sit that I almost need help getting up. Fingers are crossed that going back to working out regularly will cure that.
So, if you've made it through my ramblings this far, thanks, and I've got a question: Is it selfish of me to want to go off and be alone for a couple of days? This means that my Mom, who lives just across the street, will be alone pretty much when I'm away. I feel like my compsure button is going to explode if I have to keep answering questions and making big decisions, and the lakeside cabin beckons.:star: