PDA

View Full Version : I'm back


MaryHelenMadrid
03-01-2004, 15:08
Dear Ones,

Getting back on the Forums again. I have to show an article I found today. Loss and grief is such a huge part of Critical Incidents. When I see something like this I usually grab it.

Remember the movie, RUSH. That movie's song (Tears in Heaven)won big awards for Eric Clapton. THAT film had alot to say about stress and grief and critical incidents, too.
This has been a trail of self-debrief in a public kind of way for Mr Clapton:
==============================================
Clapton Puts 'Tears in Heaven' to Rest
(AP, 03/01/2004 2:14 PM) (From Yahoo! Launchcast Plus)

Two of Eric Clapton 's best-known songs are gone from his concert repertoire — perhaps for good.

The guitar legend found, during a series of concerts in Japan a few months ago, that he couldn't perform "Tears in Heaven" and "My Father's Eyes."

The songs, both Grammy Award winners, deal with the loss of his 4-year-old son, Conor, who died when he fell from a New York apartment in 1991.

"I didn't feel the loss anymore, which is so much a part of performing those songs," he said in an interview with The Associated Press.

"I really have to connect with the feelings that were there when I wrote them," he said. "They're kind of gone and I really don't want them to come back, particularly. My life is a different life now."

He said he'd feel conflicted to sing the songs at a time when he's happy.

"They probably need a rest," he said, "and maybe I'll introduce them from a much more detached point of view."

==============================================
I thought this was pretty impressive. Sometimes we postpone our grief till its ok to take it up again. THIS is why we can be still hurt so bad when we react to something YEARS after the fact!

The little boy fell from the 38th floor (I think it was, very traumatic---it was way up there) witnessed by the nanny-maid.
I wonder what happened to her?

+Mary Helen

k9cop21811
03-02-2004, 13:39
It's nice to have you back! If I remember correctly, your name was mentioned when we were discussing the creation of this forum. So, have at it.

MaryHelenMadrid
03-03-2004, 11:19
Oh Yeah!

I think this is the best website of its kind ever. It screams success for the truly motivated ---I scanned over favorite forums categories of mine when I came back last week---terrific advice---so detailed and wonderfully supportive (eg. there was a question on selling a house when going to the big Q. Excellent advice by more than one person!)

When I saw the article above on Eric Clapton I thought---this is not denial at all---this is possibly disenfranchisement. THAT is the killer in the Critical Incident stuff. Detached objectivity on the job may be a requirement---but it also should be warned it can go too far. THOUGHTfully postponing grief is better than disassociating from it! I have no idea if Eric Clapton has stated if he was seeing a grief recovery person--that stuff is way too confidential. But you can see why (in the example above) that it might be a good idea and it may be therapy for him to NOT sing the music!

Crucial to the recovery and stabilization of "getting over" horrific experiences is FEELING them. At some point, this has to be appreciated along the way. All the senses have taken it in. All the senses--- one at a time--- will betray you over time without direct recognition homework. And you can be back at the pain so damn fast it can knock you down.

Loss is so underestimated as a dynamic in the pain. Unless we learn how to incorporate all that loss into our daily lives we will forever be estranged from everyday living. You get numb.

Anyway---you ALL are never out of my thoughts. Have you noticed all the traumatologists on the big Hollywood TV shows, now? Even the President had one last season on WEST WING!!

And then there are the CSI shows! Boy are they popular!

I have had some real cool forensics consult Emails myself in the last year----They are the "What is your take on this?" stuff---I am open for that as well. LOVE those. Prefer the behind-the-scenes teamwork. I love profiling, too--- nailed a few lately--. Always so happy to help.

---dis is da place!
Lovingly and with great respect to all here and those "out there",

+Mary Helen