Deep Depression

[JohnnyCash]

It's been awhile since I've been on here and there's a reason why...my current depression. The love of my life and I separated and I just don't know where to go from here. I had everything planned out with her and now it seems that I will never be able to find someone else.

I'm really sad all the time, I can't sleep at night, I've lost 15 lbs., my stomach is constantly in pain, I feel worthless, and I've even had thoughts of ending it all. This has been going on for about three weeks now and I just don't know how much longer I can take it.

I'm wanting to seek help here at school, but I'm afraid that seeking mental help would hurt my chances of getting into law enforcement. What do you think?

[BasementAddix]

Remember this...time heals all wounds....i was with this girl for two years...and she cheated on me...it hurt like shit...i was in college at the time and believe me my gpa dropped 1 full mark that semester....but eventually you WILL meet someone new...nothing helps you get over your ex like you next...3 weeks is still too soon to start feeling normal again...just figure it as her loss...and dont dwell if possible...

[Olympiccop2002]

Johnny,

My girlfriend and I parted separate ways this last summer so I know how you feel. I too thought that she could be the one that I would like to spend the rest of my life with. When she dropped the bombshell that she thought we should call it quits I didn't know what had just happened. I thought everything was going great and then out of the blue....Whamo! I thought that it was the end of the world but I have since learned that it is not. The sun will keep rising and setting and you will find another person. This is how it will be. The sooner that you can put her behind you the better. Will you still think of her and become sad? Yup, I know I did for a few months afterwords. Now I don't think of her so much and have jumped back into the wild world of dating. There are plenty of others out there that are willing to and want to share your love. My bet is that almost all of the people on this site have gone through a tough time like this and most of us have gone through it more than once. Use this as a learning experience on what you liked and disliked about your old girlfriend and use it to find someone that has the same goals and interests that you do. I have found that taking a little "me" time has done the trick in the past. Don't go looking for another gal right away. This will only lead you down a slippery slope. Let things heal or else you will have some heavy baggage that you bring with you to your next relationship. That is not fair to yourself or the other person. You need to start with a clean slate. Also, it is OK to talk about what you are feeling with your friends and family. You have obviously come here asking for help and you should do so with your friends and family. You would be surprised at the amount of people that truly do care about you. Spend more time with them and see if that helps. I don't know if you are a religious person or not. If you are then maybe talking to someone in your church might help. Your pastor or other members might be able to help you out. The first month/couple of months are the hardest. It feels like you had your heart ripped out though your chest and thrown against the wall across the room. Then someone ran over and repeatedly jumped on it. The days seem to be a blur of nothingness and you are thinking that there can not be anyone else. You feel sad at the drop of a hat and think that the pain won't go away. I know I've been there. But you have to remember that there isn't a woman out there that is worth taking you own life over. Not one single one! This isn't about being too macho for asking for help. If you are having these thoughts then you need to talk with someone as soon as possible. Hopefully this is a gentle shove in the right direction for you.

Bjorn

[MsCoyoteKatie]

Johnny--

Please don't let the fact that you want to go into LE keep you from getting help! If your school provides those resources, take advantage of them, that's what they are there for.

Seeking help is not a sign of weakness, it's a sign that you're a strong enough person to realize that you need the help of others, and that there is NOTHING wrong with that.

In the grand scheme of things, we need you here so you can follow your dream of becoming a police officer.

Stay Safe--
Coyote

[JohnnyCash]

I went for help today and it helped a little bit. I really think this is something that will just take time and hopefully not too long.

[DeFreesian]

... And this too, shall pass

Not to make light of a situation that has you seriously and understandably upset, if you were to compare your future to your present situation, the latter would pale in comparison! Be optimistic knowing that "All things work together for good for those who are..." At times, this is all easier said than done, however, VIVA LIFE
"Too Many Fish In the Sea" - The Marvelettes

[fmr-army]

I had a possibly similar experience. I was about to ask my girlfriend to marry me - she was in the middle east watching for Scuds, post Desert Storm, and we were both stationed in Germany. When she got back, she said that she didn't see a future for us, and didn't want to see me anymore. It hurt like a son of a gun, and I was in a major funk for a long time. It still hurts, and it was way back in '92.

Here's the rub. Had I stayed with her, I never would have met the REAL love of my life, the one to whom I am married, and the mother of my two kids. Looking back, I can honestly say that I didn't have NEARLY the same relationship with gal #1 as I did and do and will with my wife.

Do what is right for you, and don't be afraid to seek help. I had good buddies that I could talk to (shared combat experiences help to open a lot of otherwise closed doors), but my faith in the Lord is what really brought me through. God won't bring you to anything that He won't bring you through.

I wish you peace.

[mmagoo]

I am glad that you sought help, and I want to encourage you to continue to do so, and not stop because you worry about how it will look on an LE application. You will not be disqualified from LE for seeking help in dealing with situational depression. They are more concerned with chronic clinical depression than situations like this. So please continue to take advantage of the resources that are available to you.

This will pass and it will not have any effect on your career.

Hang in there!

P.S.-I sent you a PM

[gota89stang]

Johnny, these relationship problems are the hardest to deal with, espcially if they come out of the blue. Trust me, its not the end of the world, there are plenty of other people out there. I had a g/f that i though was perfect for me, but after 2 months together, i realized she was cheating on me. Then thing you have to realized is that it is not your fault, or your loss, its her loss. Ending it all would not solve anything, but make problems worse. I realized that the best thing to do when your really upset is to let things cool off, then when you know that your alright with the situation talk to the person. This does take time, and it took me over a year to get over the fact that i was cheated on. But when i talked to her for the first time in a year, my sorrow went away, and we are friends now. Just remeber this one thing, you were put here for a reason, u may not know the reason, but you have a duty to full fill your destiny! :hustle:

[124exp]

who can say
where the road goes
where the day flows
- only time

And who can say
if your love grows
as your heart shows
- only time
x2

(Bridge)

Who can say
why your heart sighs
as your love flies
- only time

And who can say
why your heart cries
when your love lies
- only time
x2

(Bridge)

Who can say
when the roads meet
that love might be
in your heart

And who can say
when the day sleeps
if the night keeps
all your heart

Night keeps, all your heart

(Bridge)

Who can say
if your love grows
as your heart shows
- only time

And who can say
where the road goes
where the day flows,
- only time

And who can say
where the road goes
where the day flows
-only time

Who knows - only time
Who knows - only time...

song by Enya

And God can help you...
Trying going to a church, after the service you will feel like a new born person with lots of new energy.

[ssween2]

Hey man we have all been there, you are NOT alone! I was with a girl for 5 years when she decided we were not meant to be together anymore. She said that the love feeling had left. Nothing has ever hurt that much in my life. I couldn't sleep, eat, etc for awhile but you know what, everyday starts to get easier. Trust me! It might seem hopeless and like the hurt will never stop but it DEFINITLY will. One day you will look back on how you are feeling now and realize that it wasn't as bad as it seemed. Im still not 100% over her, but now I can look back and think of the fun we had together and good times we shared without getting upset. Someday you will be there too man. Make some plans with friends, etc to give yourself something to look foward to. Keep your mind off of it, things will get easier bro........like I said before we have all been in a similar situation at least once in our lives. Just the fact that you admit that you might need some help to get through this is a sign of strength on your part that I for one commend. Don't worry about the future, straighten things out now so you feel better. We are all here for you whenever you want to talk, vent or whatever.
edited for spelling......

[JohnnyCash]

Thanks for the support...all of you. This has really been the hardest point in my life. The situation is complicated with the fact that I see her often at school and she still hangs out with my friends. Things are getting easier day by day, I've been talking with friends and family and getting advice where ever I can. It's hard to move on due to the fact she says we might get back together someday, only time will tell. This killin time is killin me!

[nyfop]

Bro there's so many girls out there its not even funny, just open your eyes and move on, the one you were with you will totally forget about.
I Bet you the next one you will like in every way so much better. forget all that we might get back together nonsense your just spinning your wheels, when you can be having SO much fun with all the young woman with raging hormones. You will be fine. the board member will lead you the right way!