Feeling paranoid/hypervigilant

[jayqubed]

lately i have been feeling almost obsessed with personal security. so much so that i am questioning some of my reactions to normal, daily situations. for example: the other day a car alarm went off nearby in the neighborhood and i went for a gun to go investigate. my wife quizzed why i was so jumpy seeing as car alarms are a common occourence. i told her i was just going for a pair of shoes, (she didnt believe me) and by that time the car alarm stopped. honestly, i have begun carrying while taking trash to the dumpster! i am fairly new to LE and i wonder if this is a normal phase, or am i going overboard? am i being sensible and cautious? any advice. . .

[ATF SAC]

The dumpster seems a bit much, but as long as you are comfortable cutting the grass and getting the newspaper without being strapped, you are probably ok. Fairly common newbie thing, getting comfortable with the idea that "if something" happens it might require you to react and half hoping something happens so you can distinguish yourself. Bit of getting comfortable with the gun tucked on you in otherwise normal situations as well. Generally part of what is called the "John Wayne" syndrome. Over time the edge will wear off a little and you will get to the "I do not work cd player theft" mode which will stop you from running down the street in your PJ's with the star and the gun. While you are in the "Hot Damn, GTA pinch right outside the house!" mode, please take the gun and badge. Your wife giggling at you and your coworkers getting on you about being "Law West of the Pecos," will help you tone it down in a bit. Meantime, stop defending the dumpster. If there is likelihood of engagement at the trash bin, move. Also reflect that you should not charge into things in your skivvies that you would call for backup on if you were on duty and vested. You should get that for your own protection, but if not, be considerate of those on duty who are responding to an alarm call and find some guy in his Dr. Denton's with wild bed hair waving a pistol around.

Bottom line, looks like perfectly normal adjustment stuff to me.

[dmclark]

Amazing what a little knowledge will do for you! It's fairly normal during your first few years on the job to be hyper-vigilant. I don't think you're a candidate for the rubber room or anything close.

As long as you keep the Condition Orange to yourself and don't fuss over your family about who they see and where they go, you should be fine.

Both ATFSAC and I have a friend that started out in the Behavioral Science section at the FBI Academy. He was one of the first profilers and was involved in some pretty ugly cases. He's told me that he knew he had to get out of the section when he wouldn't let his wife and family leave the house as he was too afraid of the monsters that walked the street.

As ATFSAC pointed out, the "John Wayne Period" as developed by Marty Reiser, Police Psych from LAPD in the late 60's, is a two to three year period and then you should mellow out.

Remember, you're normal and it's a evolutionary process! DM

[Rasputin]

lately i have been feeling almost obsessed with personal security. so much so that i am questioning some of my reactions to normal, daily situations. for example: the other day a car alarm went off nearby in the neighborhood and i went for a gun to go investigate. my wife quizzed why i was so jumpy seeing as car alarms are a common occourence. i told her i was just going for a pair of shoes, (she didnt believe me) and by that time the car alarm stopped. honestly, i have begun carrying while taking trash to the dumpster! i am fairly new to LE and i wonder if this is a normal phase, or am i going overboard? am i being sensible and cautious? any advice. . .

Our fletc instuctor told us about a time he was in Wal-mart and he ended up backing himself into a corner so he could see everyone and not get "taken" by surprise. His wife had to help him get out of the store. I was in some of the Wal-Marts down in El Paso and I could see his point, especialy if the store he was in was as crowded as they were. Am I a bit more aware of my surroundings now? Yes. have i become hypersensitive? well, not that I am aware of, but I probably do give certain people different looks when I am out and about. :vader:

[Utahn]

Is that what the problem is with half of my class.

I was alittle that way but then thought that I made it this far with out packing all of the time or being ready for something. It calmed me down, I still watch people closelly because it is great seen the dumb things they do.
But I may go back that way when I see it on the job every day.


Note to self, allow wife to slap me stait.

[Sgt Jon]

Everyone made some great points and from reading them I can see that they have gone through some degree of what you are going through.

It is normal to become more aware of things going on around you, more so that now you may feel the need to be on the job 24-7. Thing to remember is that you are not on the clock 24-7.

With time the feelings you have should pass, no I do not have a timeline but one bit of advice is to talk with the Wife about it, she too is going through an adjustment period...has she commented on the pistol on your hip when having a hug yet?

Perspective and understnding that you can not be on duty 24-7 will help you to adjust to the need to act and be ready to jump at a seconds notice.

I found early on that by finding a diversion and outlet for all the cop stuff was the best thing I could do. After a short time when just on the job I felt close to how you do, I made a move away from associating with other cops when off duty and took to leaving the gun/badge at home for a while...it helped put things in order and made me see that sure I am a cop but for the most part I remembered I was also off duty. I have found a middle ground and keep things in perspective

Talk to the Wife and a trusted partner...!

[jade]

jayqubed,
I can completely relate to what you are feeling. Having just started out in the field as well, I find myself trying to find a balance to the new hypervigilance and personal security concerns that have now been engrained in me. Thank you for posting, as it is nice to know I am not the only person who is going through this.

I've been working on finding the balance ever since I started going to my current church. I happened to mention where I worked, and that I was in training to be a police officer to just one person. Well, the person was wonderful in introducing me to everyone around that she could find...but the first thing out of her mouth after my name was "she is a police officer!" Every time she did that...I cringed a bit. Any personal security I had there is gone. I was really uncomfortable with that for a while, but now I am okay.

[Signal-C]

So your saying it is wrong to put a .40 in the IWB holster to take an evening walk around the neighborhood with the family !?!?!?!

Not saying that _I_ do that but I have this friend, yeah that's it, a "friend" who does that.

[drwx]

So your saying it is wrong to put a .40 in the IWB holster to take an evening walk around the neighborhood with the family !?!?!?!

Not saying that _I_ do that but I have this friend, yeah that's it, a "friend" who does that.


imho, it would depend on your neighborhood. in my neighborhood, if i had a gun, i would take it with me everytime i walked the dog after dark. as it is, i'm not a cop yet and dont have a gun, so i carry a S&W tactical HRT-1 knife stuffed IWB.