x-mas present

[Dawn_Fighter]

a 7 year old female child was shot in the chest today for a retailiation thing over a video game. She died in route as a fellow P.O. co-worker gave her mouth to mouth............

[dmclark]

Will never get over our inhumanity towards each other. Hope you and your co-worker are able to get some outside counseling on this issue. Let us know if you need anything here. Best, DM

[ATF SAC]

I've followed your posts around here and know how hard you worked to get where you are. Sorry that so soon you got to the inevitable crusher. Everybody knows terrible things happen; police officers get to feel it right up close and personal. The holiday season adds an ironic and painful counterpoint; but this would be awful in the middle of nowhere.

Over a little time you will learn to take refuge in professional practice. Need to make sure every i is dotted and t is crossed at least to deliver whatever is posing as justice today. The nobility and the grace and the courage is in the effort and the willingness to try again and again both for the victim and to overcome what is understandably a normal human horror at what you have gotten yourself involved with. Somebody has to be there and we do it for a biweekly check.

It is not a success to not care or to never cry. It is a success to saddle up for the next call.

To do that well used to involve working through it on your own. That was stupid. DM is as always on the money. If you have peer counseling see that you have a chat and see if the officer who was direct involved is also doing it. If not encourage it. And if you can't find something get up with us, we'll do what we can to find somebody.

Your story resonates with all of us in this forum; even if we just reflect on the holiday horror stories. We are glad you and the other officer are out there, Dawn. A little time and effort and you should be as well.

[TAC803NY]

If your dept. has a Critical Incident Stress Debriefing program, you should take advantage of it. Barring that, if you have an EAP person, he or she may be able to assist. When I started in EMS many years ago, we were taught to suck it up and not show any emotion...and God forbid we ever go see a "professional". I spent a whole lot of years not enjoying life like I have could have. Kids and coworkers were the toughest to deal with, especially when it was stupid and senseless. Find somebody and talk it out.

Tac

[MacLeod]

To this day, I've let the death investigation of a 19 month old little boy, just two days before Christmas in 2000 haunt me. I can't imagine the heartbreak of a child dying in my presence. God Bless your friend. God Bless YOU and all the men and women that work Patrol and arrive first. Please keep us posted.

[DennisNJ]

When I started in EMS many years ago, we were taught to suck it up and not show any emotion...and God forbid we ever go see a "professional".

Professional counseling after a critical incident (or for that matter, marital counseling) was considered "treatment by a mental health professional" and had to be disclosed for BIs and reinvestigations at my last two agencies. Good grief.. doing the best thing to come through OK put guys under the spotlight. I don't doubt it's still that way in some agencies.

[TAC803NY]

I have been recently trained in CISD, and it was stressed that we do not qualify as "mental health professionals", with just that thought in mind. Yeah, that stigma is still there, although most of the folks I spoke with are working hard to overcome it.

[BelAir1]

There is nothing in this world, through training or experience, that can prepare someone for the psychological aftermath of situations like this. dmclark and ATF SAC are right on the money, talk to someone about this. I was involved in an incident once and chose not to get some help....only to eventually have a breakdown and be forced to by my C.O. I suffered from PTSD pretty bad. I normally don't have any regrets in life, but that is one choice I would actually go back and change. There is no shame in getting help if you need it - we're only humans, not robots.

I hope you find some closure with this. And, as previously stated, if you need any help here I am sure you will find this group more than supportive. Good luck to you and stay safe out there.

[IM911]

I read that article. Sorry to hear you were there. I hope the debriefing helps.

[zlmajors]

I've worked in an ER for the last 3 1/2 years, I've seen some amazingly stupid mistakes leading to the deaths of children and it never gets easy to handle. Just know that there are people like you trying to prevent things like that from happening and that's the best we can hope for, more good people than the bad.