Another Friend Goes Over

[Welpe]

Well yet another friend is heading over to the sand box. He called me a couple weeks ago and said he was shipping out. We sent him off this week with well wishes. This is the first time I've cried over a friend deploying over there, and I can't figure out why.

I think a part of it is guilt. Guilt that I'm a healthy young adult male who's not serving the country I love and instead, am enjoying a cushy life in college. Guilt over the fact I may never serve -- that's a whole 'nother post there so let's just summarize the excuses why not as a long time girlfriend.

Seeing friends leave for war has brought to light something that I've regretted since going to college and that was not enlisting after high school. Military service is something I wnated to do when I was younger, but then I got serious about a girl and things changed. Funny how that works out. Now I'm stuck holding a bag full of regret and self-doubt and feeling like I'm not totally control of my own life any more.

What's especially hard is that most of the group I used to run with is in the military now. I've stayed in touch with them and they all sound like they are doing great. I miss them though. Obviously not every one can serve but at times I feel like a coward for not being with them. Not to mention when you read about guys your age getting killed over there.

Sorry this post is a bit disjointed and whiney, but I needed to vent some.

I just hope my friends come home. :(

Cheers,

Monty

[trackstar16]

I understand all of your post Monty. Had the same thoughts in my head after I got "settled" in college life. I too look back and wonder why I did not follow through with the reserves, although I know why I "had" to choose what I chose at the time. Fast forward a number of years later, and I do wish I had done the reserves. But at the same time I realize, I'm no coward for not going back then... and neither are you... we had our reasons and it wasn't suitable then.

Think of it this way. While you won't be serving your country in the armed forces, you are trying to serve your country/community by persuing law enforcement. It's different, but it has it's role, and an important one.

I encourage you to write your friends who are over there as often as possible. I have several friends who have been there and some who may be going back. Have another who is one the way. They need your letters. And reading there's will be comforting to you. Particularly when they come written on a cut-up MRE box.

My close friend came back fortunately. Hoping the same for another on their way.

Your post is neither whiney or disjointed... Keep everyone over there in your prayers, and hopefully your friends come home...

God Bless our troops!

[Cyra]

Welpe,
I'm sorry to hear about your friend. I understand what you are going through. I've had many of the same feelings myself. If I could go back in time, I would have enlisted and "served" my country. Maybe made a career out of it. But, in the end, I have no regrets. I know that the time will come when I will have an opportunity to serve my country, in my own way. Maybe not in the military, but through law enforcement. You will have the same opportunity as well.

And don't worry...once the grief has passed you'll start to regain some of that feeling of "control". In fact, this experience might even give you some new strength.

Hang in there. I will keep your friends in my thougths and prayers.

Cyra

[Mongo]

If you want to serve and truly feel like it's something you saw yourself doing in your life...then why not do it? If you're in college it's not too late. I don't know where you go to school but the recruiters flew around like buzzards in my college days. There are several great opportunities for college grads. If it's a girl that's dissuading you from going, rethink how your relationship fits into your goals in life. I know there's probably more to it, there always is, but I think most of us have been there at some point....I know I was and when the rubber hit the road....so did she.

In addition, don't feel like the only way to serve your country is through the military. I feel that any person is the military, LE, or LE support is serving the country in some manner.

[sigy]

I know how you feel. I recently spoke with a recruiter anout joining the reserves and got the big "no thanks" because I've been treated for asthma by a doctor in the past. Besides feeling really stupid because I didn't know that was a disqualifier, I was upset that I wouldn't be able fulfill a longtime dream of mine. Yes, I'm happy being a LEO but I wanted to at least join the reserves and serve this country I love. :(

[mjcek]

Welpe,

I feel your pain... I have several friends, including an old ex-gf that are over in Iraq right now. I worry about them all the time...

I almost enlisted after H.S, but then had second thoughts and decided not to...I regretted not doing it, and I felt like i was a "coward" for backing out. However, at the time, it just wasnt the right decision for me.

I planned on enlisting a second time when I was almost finished with my bachelors degree. I went to MEPS, took the ASVAB, got a physical and signed a contract to attend basic at Ft Knox and then go to AIT training to become a Cavalry Scout with the U.S Army...

Turns out it was discovered during the physical that I am a diabetic...So there went my hopes of EVER joining the military :( I was crushed.

But hey, I picked myself up, moved on, and now I'm getting ready to start the police academy in D.C. i think that a career in LE is just as noble as a career in the military. We have basically the same mission---protect our country and the people who live in it :cool:

I'm sure you will land a great job that will give you lots of satisfaction, even if it isn't in the military.

Good luck brother :)

[ATF SAC]

Lighten up on yourselves. Not just a little but a whole lot. I suspect cowards regret being cowards but a decision to join or not join the military is not evidence of either heroism or cowardice. Certainly, a medical condition that prevents service has nothing to do with the content of your character. Courage is largely being scared almost to the edge of rational thought and still performing well in my opinion. The military can put you in the way of finding that out and even then folks that have been there will tell you no one is a hero every day.

By going to college you have invested a bit in being a good, critical thinking citizen. Thomas Jefferson for one thought that educated, critical thinking citizens was the only way a country like ours could operate. If you go on to be an honest, good citizen even if what you do is get filthy rich, your achievements make this country strong.

You all seem to be tending toward an interest in criminal justice work. Same as the military in terms of courage and cowardice. But clearly a chance to serve at some risk.

Lastly, you are young enough and getting educated enough that you potentially could still serve in the military even serve in leadership, you have not made an irrevocable decision. I suspect hot zones will be around for you to consider for some years to come.

Finally, what might be a failing, although perhaps not one of intestinal fortitude is to never find a way to sacrifice something of your time and your belongings to help others. You aren't hanging around here because you don't have some call. Might never be a question of the classic sense of courage, but to never answer it through some kind of service, even charitable work, might be disappointing up the road.

[methos_tj]

As ATF SAC said give yourself a break...

However believe me when I say I know the feeling. I thought about military during highschool, after HS, all through college (especially when I find out how much on student loans I could have saved! :D ), and even until this very moment. I have wanted to serve for a real long time (wanted to get into LE even more which I have seemed to accomplish, or start I should say) and quite honestly I can't tell you why I didn't? I came home from a day at work a few weeks ago. All I did all day was think to myself if I should enlist active or at least reserve. When I got home my wife-to-be asked me what was wrong and I told her...she asked me why not? I love my family very much and enjoy serving in LE (serving in LE around where my family lays their heards at night is a great feeling to me) and I don't think I would feel right leaving them.

I in no way think anyone in your shoes or in shoes like many have described should look at yourselves as cowards. IF I was told I was going (ie draft) I be at the front of the line in a heart beat. I'm only 23 and I still think I may look into the reserves after I gather more info.

take ATF SAC's advise and lift some weight off your shoulder. If it is bothering you to the point where you lose sleep, you need to have a serious talk with both yourself and your girlfriend. I try to put myself in my girl's place. She loves the fact that I work in LE but hates the fact that I have to carry a gun and wear a vest everyday. If she wanted to go military, I would love her for her choice but hate the fact that she has to do what she has to do...

Sorry for the babble,
methos_tj

[Frank_Pembleton]

I know how you feel. I recently spoke with a recruiter anout joining the reserves and got the big "no thanks" because I've been treated for asthma by a doctor in the past. Besides feeling really stupid because I didn't know that was a disqualifier, I was upset that I wouldn't be able fulfill a longtime dream of mine. Yes, I'm happy being a LEO but I wanted to at least join the reserves and serve this country I love. :(


Wow, I didn't know that Asthma was an automatic disqualifier now. My friend had severe asthma since he was a kid and still got into the Corps. Even more amazing was that he was the best runner in our company 17:15 three mile or something like that. It was funny to see him running and using his inhaler on runs and the minute he crossed the finish he'd go grab a Newport.