Crazy Hippie Sister

[kingpervis]

So my sister and I don't always exactly see eye-to-eye. That's normal.

The other night, I started my shift and was in such a sour mood. I had had training earlier in the day and performed abysmally. I didn't even want to show my face at work, but of course went. It was my Friday, so I was planning on a slow, peaceful night followed by my three days off.

Well, I ended up stopping an out-of-state vehicle after running it's plate and discovering the registration was suspended. One thing led to another and wouldn't you know I brought someone to jail for meth. The shift was saved! My pity-party from the day before was forgotten and I was once again all excited and felt great about making the arrest.

Shift ends, I go home and sleep and then wake up to go visit my sister in a nearby town. The first thing she asks (first thing everyone seems to ask) is how work is going. Since I'm so excited about making a meth arrest, I tell her the story. She then proceeds to give me the third degree about violating people's rights and cops this, cops that. Let's just say she didn't vote for Al Gore because Al Gore wasn't liberal enough. :rolleyes: So much for my excitement.

Then of course, there are the conversations with mom. She, too, always seems to ask how work is going as the first or second question. If I tell her just about any story from work, I can hear her uncomfort over what her son does for a living.

Sheesh! From now on if people ask how work is should I just say it's nobody's business? I get tired of defending myself when I'm not getting paid court overtime.

[TAC803NY]

King....it's always tough talking to somebody not in the job because they dont have a clue of what goes on. It's sometimes hard and frustrating to take the time to explain the why's and wherefor's to them, laying out the background for a situation that they don't understand. Many times, I'll stop myself from trying to relate work related stories (non-sensitive, of course) because it is too much to get into all of the non-relevant background stuff. That's why so many police, fire, and ems folks wind up not communicating with spouses, kids, and significant others. They don't understand....anybody not in the business can't relate, and we wind up forming relationships with people in the field because they do understand. It takes work to keep lines of communication open with those folks we care about. Some people just don't and won't get it, but that's the neat thing about America.....you can think whatever you want, even if you're wrong!

Tac

[Chaser199]

It's for that very reason that there are "cop bars" and why cops generally hang out with other cops.

Most cops get tired of getting the third degree from civilians, or if they tell a story, civilians don't understand the significance of it. A cop on the other hand has stood in your shoes and would appreciate a good meth pop.

My suggestion to you is that when some of your family members ask how it's going at work, simply answer, "Fine." Don't volunteer much to those individuals who will cause you grief. If you don't give them anything to feed off of, they'll probably stop asking you.

I personally was never one to bring work home, but others in LE like to share their experiences. If want to share your cop experiences, share it with another cop (or a civilian you feel comfortable talking to about it), or you can always post them on the forum. :)

My 2 cents.

[little_cyclone]

My suggestion to you is that when some of your family members ask how it's going at work, simply answer, "Fine."

I second that motion! Thats what I usually end up having to do with my family when it comes to them questioning me about work. Not because they don't agree with what I'm doing (liberal though they are) but they go nuts worrying over my safety. Trust me, you aren't alone on this one. :p

And congrats on the bust!

[pantless]

Even as a reserve I get the same thing. When I first started going on ridealongs as an explorer I used to tell my parents everything that happened and now I have just learned that the less I reveal the better they feel. My mother always wants to know what I did or saw on rides and when I tell her the full truth she tells me I shouldn't have said that? ;) But I guess thats what mothers are for.

[kingpervis]

Thanks for the tips guys. At least my two best friends I've had since time immemorial understand and I can talk to them. I have as of yet to develop any real friendships at work. I'm kind of a loner, have been since junior high. Hard habit to break. I think that's part of why I like LE. Spending all that time alone in the car free to work the job any way I see fit (within policy, of course).

Again, thanks for the tips! Maybe we should start a Hippie Sister forum where people can talk about their sisters. :star: just kidding.

Thanks again!

[ATFpoa]

This follows with the law: you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your relatives!

[ATF SAC]

Tell your sister straight up that you are not a cop being but her brother being who works as a cop. Also tell her that although you feel she is stuck somewhere in the 60's you do love her and that part of the joy of being a cop is maybe to protect her. Lighten up, too. She no more has to agree totally with you than you with her. Enjoy the conversations and if she says you are turning into a brown shirt, might want to be open to the fact that you are changing in ways that underneath it all frighten her.

Mom is harder because she is scared. Cut back on the blood and guts and emphasize the training, preparedness and teamwork. Over time your Sis will come to terms with the fact that her brother is her brother and not the enemy of all civil rights (even perhaps their friend) and your Mom will notice you must be getting good at it because you keep turning up after shift.

[Cascade]

My favorite bumper sticker:

"If you don't like cops, the next time you're in trouble--CALL A HIPPIE."

Sorry you and your sis don't see eye-to-eye.

[Chaser199]

My favorite bumper sticker:

"If you don't like cops, the next time you're in trouble--CALL A HIPPIE."


It's been YEARS since I've seen that bumper sticker. :)

[me ofc]

[me ofc]

King Pervis I know how you feel. My G/F sister is a social worker I am a probation officer. :cool: She is always trying to tell me how to do my job. ;) She knows all about my job because she interned with a Juvenile Probation officer when in College. Yeah like that is the same thing.

My G/F hates it when i talk shop, her dad was a state trooper for a while when he a young man. So when he shows up we always end up talking shop.

I think alot of my G/F issues are that she just doesn't want to know what i deal with on Daily basis.

As one other poster said people wonder why cops hang around each other. I myself only have a couple of friends who are not cops. Most of those are guys i knew From High School or other jobs.

I find it funny though when we go over to one of her friends places and they always want to know about work.

[Nonsequitur]

My favorite bumper sticker:

"If you don't like cops, the next time you're in trouble--CALL A HIPPIE."

Sorry you and your sis don't see eye-to-eye.


I am still waiting for the complaint for telling someone that while on duty... ;) :o :D

[Signal9TN]

Just make sure that when you get married you TALK to your wife...she needs to know what you go through at work. Many Cops won't do this because they say they don't want to bring the job home, but we all do one way or the other...

[kels]

Talking to others about the job is fine.
Keep it general terms. Dont go into specifics.
Tell your better half what went on at work.
Just skip the really gory, scary stuff etc
that will keep them worrying about you
when your working.
Hanging out with the guys/ladies from work is fine.
HOWEVER, if you cant take your better half with
you, stay HOME. Cuts down on a lot of problems
later on.

[kingpervis]

Thanks for the tips, everyone. I appreciate it. Good advice.