Husband at Q, StressFull day!!

[Nwaiting]

Geez, talk about a streak of bad luck!! I haven’t had a very good 12 hours so far. It all started last night when I settle in to watch 24 and my TIVO had some kinda error and didn’t record. I was so pi$$ed!! So, I went to bed. Then around 600 I was still asleep and kept hearing this weird droning noise and I realized it was the trash truck!!! I was like “OH SH$T!” :eek: I had completely forgotten to take out the trash. (not used to having to do these things) I literally popped outta bed and put on my slip-on high heel work shoes and fumbled with the keys and ran outside in my pajamas. The truck was just finishing with my neighbor's house and was heading to mine and I started running and was waving my hands around in the air yelling “WAIT!” The nice sanitation engineer gave me a wave as I ran to the trash can and wheeled it out. I wheeled it to the curb just as the electric arm took it away. Then, I go downstairs to breakfast this morning for a meeting and as I grab my tray from the stack, about 20 others come crashing down to the ground because someone stacked the trays to high. They looked like the leaning tower of pisa. Boss was right there as was a coworker and I felt like a total dumba$$ as the cafeteria assistant came running to pick up the trays and kept asking me if I was ok. Then when I proceed to the omelet line I ask for an omelet made of egg beaters (trying to maintain my girlish figure for when hubby returns) and she cooks it up taking her sweet time adding each veggie one by one. As she is putting it on my plate she says “Oops, I used regular egg. Is that ok?” At that point I was annoyed and just took it since I had already waited about 10 minutes for her to make it. Then the hubby usually calls everyday at lunch because the Q pays for 5 min. of phone conversation. So far lunch has been over and no call :( What else can go wrong? Trying to be positive and not think of it as a “bad day” that way the rest of my day is saved, but I dunno.. UGH! Just had to vent.

[ATF SAC]

We hope you feel better for getting that out and thank you for sharing it. Folks often post that it will be difficult dealing with the separation or to be apart without focusing on the kind of day to day stuff that makes it hard. This is also the stuff that makes changes in the nature of the relationship that can generate real stress. Couple of weeks out you are the trash queen. You will have your schedule and your way of doing it. Won't spend the limited call time rehashing the Egg Beaters, so you just deal with it on your own and find that works ok. At the other end, something comes up and missing the call doesn't seem like such a big deal, except that it is a very big deal.

At least the spouse at training knows they are being trained. Spouse at home is as well. Sometimes limited communication or no clear sense of what is actually going on. Division of labor in the relationship shifts. Supporting a loved one is more than cheerleading, it is often absorbing the kind of frustration and disappointment you described. Sacrificing the familiar.

Changes again once the spouse graduates. Have to rearrange things to their being back, but the academy isn't dangerous so the stressors get a little rougher.

Key advise is to do what you did, get it out somewhere and make sure that there is always time made in the relationship to be aware of these factors and to share them with each other. Martyrs don't survive in LE relationships nor do people who cannot take on some of the small and big stuff independently.

[Nwaiting]

Thank you for your post. (tear..) :crying2: Makes me feel a little better! Adjusting to this whole process has been a big deal and you are right learning to deal with it alone or independently is the hardest part.

[jmader72]

Hang in there NWaiting! It will be over before you know it.

Make sure you stay on the board even after hubby is back ... there are other spouses that may need to hear you say "It was tough, but we got through it!" ...

Thanks for your contribution to the board.

[Nwaiting]

Make sure you stay on the board even after hubby is back
I will definitely try to do that. I realize that it is so hard to find spouses who are in the same position as I am. There needs to be a board for us or something where we can share our "bad days" together.

[FNG 107]

There needs to be a board for us or something where we can share our "bad days" together.

I haven't been there myself, but I know RiggsGirl03 has a board specifically for this purpose
http://p221.ezboard.com/ffederallawenforcementofficersspousalsupportfrm2
i think it requires registration, so maybe you can PM her?

[Nwaiting]

I haven't been there myself, but I know RiggsGirl03 has a board specifically for this purpose
http://p221.ezboard.com/ffederallawenforcementofficersspousalsupportfrm2
i think it requires registration, so maybe you can PM her?
I have actually become a member of this site and it is very nice. The only problem is there DEFINITELY aren't enough "active" members. If anyone has a spouse or S.O. who wants to chat about the FLE process, Q, has any questions or just needs support send them our way!!