Police and relationships

[NYPDNick]

Do you guys (or girls) find that your “significant other” (wife/husband) get resentful of the time you spend with other members of your police department? I find myself spending a lot of the time with the guys, simply cause I enjoy em and they enjoy me!… but that seems to be causing problems at home. Comments like “oh are you police friends coming over again?” Or “you're going running again –with your police friends?” Comments like this seem to be coming up more and more, also I get criticized cause I’m not as “friendly as I used to be”. I’m sure some of you know the stuff I’m talking about… what does one do? I’m getting sick of it…

And. with me leaving NYC to go to police academy in CA soon, it seems that’s not helping any!! God I wish I were outta here now!

[JRG]

If the significant other is just upset that you are spending more time with your buds, you may be able to fix the situation by cutting back a little and including them some too... maybe bring her and have the other officers husband or wife come along too when you run or whatever?

One of my buddies started brining his wife sometimes when we run... she now out runs us... but anyway.. its a good way to let them feel like they are part of the group.

Hopefully your significant other is resenting the fact that you are spending more time with your buddies than the fact they are "police" buddies... if thats the case then this may be a bigger problem.

[simplyconfused]

I have ran into this problem myself. No matter what you do you will always be "Nick the cop" when you go out with friends or her friends come over. The fact is people outside of law enforcement don't know how to relate (that's why we hang out with other cops) because they don't know what we deal with on the job. I hate being bothered with "shop" talk (what I call it, some people call it war stories).I hate talking bout the job outside of work because that is the only time I have to unwind. Your wife is obviously mad because she doesn't get the attention she is wanting. That part is easy to fix, just set aside one or two nights where just you two spend time together. The hard part for me is going out with people that know I am a cop and just trying to be me without the shop talk. Just another part of the job we have to accept. I sometimes tell people that I just meet that I work for the Post Office or I'm plumber.LOL Your friends will never be just friends to her because they are cops too, she shoukl just say the guys from work but that's life.

[gbcop]

Well, Just from a total flip side, I don't hang out with other cops. I did for a while and my attitude about life was going down the drain... I met my beautiful fiance and spend almost every possible minute with her that I can. It's just been my personal experience that some women like to have "their own day, every other day", and some women like mine that find it truly rewarding to have a guy that wants to spend as much time with her as possible. Our time apart is when we're at work or she's at school(CJ Major). So being that she is gung ho about starting a LE career is another difference. But I would defiently take the suggestion of inviting her along and trying to get some of the other guy's wives to go.