And then there were 36...

[Nonsequitur]

The 202nd Recruit class of the San Francisco Regional Training center has lost another recruit today.

Personally, for me, this was the most heart breaking of them all... Because it was me.

I made some mistakes, and regret everything that has happened but in the end the responsibility is my own.

I am sorry I have let everyone down, and if you think less of me for this then I want you to know that you still have a higher opinion of me than I have of myself.

It is not easy knowing that you, and you alone, destroyed your dreams when they were within reach. I have passed the scales of Themis and viewed Elysia only to pass into the torturous pits of Tartarus.

I hope one day to recover and hopefully find another job in law enforcement, but until that day I wish all good luck and hope that you will think before you do anything stupid that could ruin your career and your life.

I now have to figure out what I want to do with my life, now that I can not be what I have always wanted to be.

Good luck and God bless.:)

[JOBAY]

I CANT EVEN BEGIN TO TELL YOU HOW DEVASTATED THE REST OF THE CLASS WAS AFTER YOU LEFT TODAY . I KNOW THAT THERE IS PROBABLY NOTHING THAT I COULD SAY TO HELP MAKE THIS EASIER FOR YOU. I KNOW WHAT A LONG PROCESS IT WAS FOR YOU . WE ARE ALL STILL IN A STATE OF SHOCK. I CAN ONLY HOPE THAT EVERYTHING WORKS ITSELF OUT FOR YOU AND THAT YOU ARE BACK IN THE ACADEMY BEFORE YOU KNOW IT. PLEASE EMAIL ME AND SEDN ME UPDATES ON HOW THINGS ARE GOING. I KNOW THAT YOU WILL BE A GREAT OFFICER SOMEDAY AND I'LL BE PROUD TO WORK SIDE BY SIDE WITH YOU. TAKE CARE- 202 WILL MISS YOU.
ONE OTHER THING- SMPD REALLY BITES THE BIG ONE FOR THIS. :(

[EnconNY]

Hey Nons...

You did not say what you did and at this point, Im not so sure I want to know what it is. I just hope that whatever you did you can recover from it. If San Fran did not work out, the state of California appears to have a pretty decentralized LE division so try another department. Many of the small towns advertise all the time.

Also, if you provide more information on your situation, there are so many intelligent, helpful and resourceful people on these boards that Im sure someone could probably help.

In the meantime, keep your chin up. Mistakes are not forever and you will be surprised at how fast family and friends are willing to forgive you for the things to do.
Good luck with everything.

EnconNY

[Nonsequitur]

I got a couple moving violations, misdemeanor...
Although they are my frist movers ever, and I was told they will in all likelihood be reduced or dropped as I was pulled over with one other person and there were another 5 participants they let go... That and one of the charges was general to include something the other driver did and the only thing I did was try to avoid an accident.

I do take responsibility for my actions though.

[mikemac64]

Dude,

What were the violations?. Did you get pulled over by your instructors?

Enlighten us....if you are found not guilty, or not responsible, you should be reinstated I would imagine...

Tell us the tale..

Mike

[Ranger337]

Nonsequitur,

I am so sorry to hear that you are no longer in the SF Police Academy. As stated in an earlier post, mistakes are not forever, and there are many other academies out there and there are pleanty of other police departments that need good people like you to join their ranks.

Keep your head up, and keep your sights high. Don't give up on your dream. You know the things that will be a DQ in LE. And think of it this way, when you go to another academy, you will have a leg up on some of the training. You will be ahead of your class, and excel. You will know what to expect, and how to act.

No matter what you do DON'T GIVE UP! Learn from your mistake, and move on.

Continuing to wish you success,

Ranger337

[DelC]

It sounds like time will remove your mistake. While waiting on it to get behind you, I would try dispatching or corrections, as a driving record is not usually so critical there.

[IL Lawman]

I feel for ya pard...I really do.
'Nuff said!

[Badge11]

Non- sorry to hear about your situation. I was really shocked when I first read this. I know myself and plenty of others on this site have always looked forward to reading your regular posts. I guess this is just a reminder to those who are about to enter the academy, fto training, or on probation just how easy it is to be let go.
From following yours posts, I can tell there is a place for you on the streets.......Good luck to you and let us know when youre ready to fight the battle again because we'll all be here for you.

[DJOHNSON954]

NON,

Very sorry to hear this! Don't give up your dream. Put this behind you and move on. Easier said than done I know but you have to keep on truckin. Remember you have lots of support here. Take care and good luck!

[josephjrr]

Holy ****. I've been reading these posts with such intense interest I feel as if I have lost something so valuable. I enjoyed these posts aand now that you are gone I really miss it. I am sure your classmates must miss you even more.

I guess if you give up on law enforcement you'd make a great journalist, however, if the fire still burns, take a few years off, do something to show you have moved on (like getting a masters or joining the service) and I am sure you will get hired again by an even better agency.

[NAC7815]

Non-

Wow! Sorry about the bad news. Like so many others, I looked forward to reading the academy stories.

Take this from somebody that knows the first thing you need to do is forgive yourself. Family and friends will be there for you and forgive, but you must forgive yourself. Find a way to deal with it and then move on. No, this is not going to happen over night. It may take awhile, but time heals all wounds.

One thing I have found very common with a lot of LEOs is they have a hard time forgiving themselves. In many cases they are such perfectionists that they eat themselves up from the inside out when they make a mistake. I know, I did this. You are human and you are going to make mistakes, we all do. The only way you fail when you make a mistake is if you don't learn from it. And, unless I'm way off base, you will learn from it and press on.

Good luck.

[Nonsequitur]

I just wanted to thank everyone for the kind words of support during all of this.

I made some mistakes and I owned up to them. Even my lawyer asked me why the heck I mentioned it before it had been sorted out, as I may still have my job. Well I took responsibility for my actions and I was not about to have all this come back to really bite me in the end.

I was allowed to resign, barring mention that it was a disciplinary action, but in the letter and copies of release papers it gave me a chance for a civil service hearing to upgrade my re-employment status with the city; but that is a mute point as they openly put no restrictions on re-employment. Technically I can reapply and go through the whole process again without any restriction, but I am not sure how this will look to the background investigator...

The only up side is that some of my former TAC staff mentioned they would write me letters of recommendation, and I am thinking I should now take them up on those offers. I want my job/career back, I made a mistake that everyone I worked with openly admits to doing all the time, but nonetheless I regret what I did (not just because I was caught).

So far I am in limbo, they will not let me get a copy of the police report (what ever happened to the Freedom of Information act for public records - what they tell me is contrary to everything I was taught in the Academy and contrary to what other officers are telling me are my rights). They are also saying now that the DA does not have a copy of the report either, and that the ADA has not even decided what to do with the case. Under the law they have 25 days to file the charges, so far it has been 18 days and they still have not filed... Which, knowing my luck, means that they will file on day 25 in a last minute ditch. Oh well my lawyer keeps telling me he is talking to the ADA, an old friend BTW, and that he has not heard anything new as of the last time I talked to him.

I am beginning to think he is a waste of money.


Barring all of this I am doing well, money is a bit tight but I have always been a miser and it has really saved my bacon. I have a job interview tomorrow, for an interim job. The next application period for the Department is in mid November. The only kicker is I do not know whether I will be eligible to reapply in November do to the possible outcome of this citation and the department regulations on number of moving violations within a specific time frame. I am hoping that it will be reduced so I can reapply immediately, but I may have to wait another 3-5 years in the worst case.

I am not out of the game totally. Drats, there goes all my seniority... ;)

The members of the class have been great with me, I have gotten our class t-shirt and will be attending the Halloween party this weekend at JOBAY's place. I have also been hanging out with them in their off time. I still feel like I am part of the great group; but I tell you it is very hard sometimes knowing where I could be right now...

I implore everyone out there to think before you do something stupid like speed, or race from a stoplight, and definately do not drink and drive (I wasn't drunk but take my caveat as it is please).

Please be safe out there and I will be stopping by from time to time. I will probably go back to posting in the "Hiring Process" though as that is where I am back too.

Right now I am back at scratch, and it is from here that I sill start once more.

Good luck and take care,

Nonsequitur

PS- Thanks HB for reminding me that I need to be as mindful of the great people here as they have been with me.

[JOBAY]

HEY NONSEQUITOR- I'M SO SORRY THAT THEY ARE PUTTING YOU THROUGH ALL OF THIS CRAP. I HOPE EVERYTHING CLEARS UP REALLY FAST AND THAT YOU MAKE IT BACK IN REALLY SOON. I THINK I HEARD THAT JOHN MAY BE COMING BACK FOR THE JUNE CLASS- IT WOULD BE NICE IF YOU TWO COULD BE TOGETHER. I AM SOOOO HAPPY YOU ARE COMING TODAY WE ARE ALL LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING YOU- AND WE THINK OF YOU DAILY. TAKE CAER GOOD LUCK AND SEE YOU LATER!!

[Sig 20]

Hey buddy! About fell out the chair on that one.....not like you murdered someone or something....that is sooooo minor! Can't believe they would even dare! Well I KNOW THAT YOU WILL RISE AGAIN! AND IF THEY DON"T WANT YA.....COME HERE TO TEXAS! WE'LL TAKE YA! WISHING YOU ALL THE BEST, kepp your chin up! YOU ARE STILL GOOD TO GO!



Keep in touch!
Sig 20:bounce:

[mikemac64]

Hey,

Keep your chin up...I have been in a tough situation as well. But remeber, you can overcome almost anything with perseverance, bull headedness, and some luck, you will get back on track.

Now, as I can piece it togeter,, it appears you got popped for drunk driving..????? If not, why not give some of the other California recruits some practical app on what not to do while in the academy?????

M

[josephjrr]

Drunk Driving??...I thought it looked more like he was drag racing?...which of course is some "We've all done" from time to time.

[Nonsequitur]

No it was definitely not drunk driving. Josephjrr nailed it precisely I was drag racing... Not to minimize what I did but it was under an over pass that had no side streets and no way for pedestrian traffic to get down there and there was no traffic on the street except myself and the other guys (a car club). They "started" it by revving their engines at me and I responded and we all jumped the green light down under the overpass. I got to the next light first and stopped for the red signal, and they ran it as it turned green from behind me.

The San Mateo Police pulled only 2 of us over, while the primary officer stated as fact that there were 7 cars involved. They charged both of us with 23109 and 23103(a) CVC both Misdemeanor charges. I just found out today with me they totally dropped the 23103(a) and most likely the 23109 (some doubt there) and are only filing an Infraction on me, most likely 22350 CVC (basic/prima facia speed law violation - IE a speeding ticket). This will be my first ever so I am elegible for traffic school and should be able to totally get it off my record.

My former co-workers have admitted to drag racing all the time, even in the radiocars. Most of the people in my former department feel that SMPD screwed me with the dual charges and the arrest anyway... My TAC staff and former Lt. even offered to write me letters of recommendation.

In the end I took responsibility for my actions and told my supervisors. Heck even the ADA in San Mateo asked why I would do that, I could still have my job/career; but I feel it is better to be honest and take responsibility for your actions than to hope that it will never come back to bite you in the rear!

Anyway, with this news I am definitely re-applying for the SFPD later this month, and am going to talk to the Recruitment and Retention folks about truncating my process to possibly get in with a friend of mine that just failed the latest Sims...

Heck the only thing I have dones since they finished my background and processing has been the Academy! Who really knows what will happen, I am personally preparing myself to redo the whole thing. I want it that bad...

Nonsequitur

[gibby11]

Non: Go for it! You have handled all of this like an adult and you should be a "shoe-in" for the next class. (if there is such a thing..)
Traffic school..... That IS good news, keep us posted and stay motivated!

gibby

[NAC7815]

Non,

I gotta ask. Why were you drag racing? Especially while you were in the academy? I understand from your post that many people in your PD have admitted to drag racing, but...I understand we all have brain farts every now and then, but... I just gotta know why?

Good luck and keep plugging.

[Nonsequitur]

Originally posted by NAC7815
Non,

I gotta ask. Why were you drag racing? Especially while you were in the academy? I understand from your post that many people in your PD have admitted to drag racing, but...I understand we all have brain farts every now and then, but... I just gotta know why?

Good luck and keep plugging.

Extreme moment of pure stupidity...
Like I said I am not trying to minimize what I did; it was stupid. I had a bad day and was out for a cool down drive, we all had our radios blasting, engines revving, there was no traffic, it was late at night, the adrenaline was flowing, and the brain just blew a breaker.

Like I told my superiors, I can only offer excuses, but no real reasons.

That is why I said think before you do anything stupid! That was the first time for me, honest; even though I have spent a lot of time and money modifying cars, I am against street racing.

The stupid thing is right now I drive a very lightly modified F150 that I got specifically to be a workhorse not a racecar.

You know the shame and humiliation are the hardest things to deal with. I still feel sick when I think about it. I guess in a way I needed to get it out of my blood, and it is out for good. I have not even gotten near the speed limit since.

Simple answer is I messed up and totally shut my brain down for those few seconds.

[NAC7815]

Right on brother. Thanks for being so honest. Again, good luck and keep pluggin.

[Ranger337]

Nonsequitur,

San Mateo PD totaly screwed you in charging you with 23103 CVC (for you not in CA the is the vehicle code section for reckless driving) It is a real lucky thing that the DA dropped the speed contest, and changed it to 22350 CVC.

With all of that I really don't see too big of a problem. From what I have been reading in your posts you are very honest and you have learned from your mistake and will never let it happen again.

If the SFPD turns you down, then screw them. Go on to another acaemy, and get on with a different department. This is your dream and don't give up on it.

Keep us updated on the situation, and I contijue to wish you luck in your ventures.

Ranger337

[Birky]

Well not to upset you or anything but you admitted to drag racing and believe me I am no expert on CA law but in VA drag racing is considered reckless driving and not only can you lose your license you can go to jail for up to 12 months and/ or get a 2500 dollar fine. Also in VA you can also get your car taken and sold at auction. I am glad that you were honest and you being removed from the academy was unfortunate but you will survive and you get on with a department. Just keep plugging away and you will get there and don't let this get you down. Good Luck and don't do this again. :)

[Nonsequitur]

Originally posted by Birky
Well not to upset you or anything but you admitted to drag racing and believe me I am no expert on CA law but in VA drag racing is considered reckless driving and not only can you lose your license you can go to jail for up to 12 months and/ or get a 2500 dollar fine. Also in VA you can also get your car taken and sold at auction. I am glad that you were honest and you being removed from the academy was unfortunate but you will survive and you get on with a department. Just keep plugging away and you will get there and don't let this get you down. Good Luck and don't do this again. :)


The burden in CA is vastly different for reckless driving and speed contest. BTW I have already paid out of pocket more than $3500, and will be paying quite a bit more.

I never tried to hide this from anyone, and even first mistakes have huge consequenses... I don't mean to get too defensive about it, but please tell me that you have never made a mistake; and/or never taken full responsibility for it!

The ADA even said I could still have my job, still be in the academy, still be a police officer if I had kept my mouth shut. As a matter of fact they felt that what I did was stupid, but did not meet the requirements for what I was arrested for. Yeah I jumped a green light (did not red light), and sped, but there were 6 other vehicles involved, and I pulled over and waited for the radiocars. I never tried to run, and was totally co-operative.

I made the mistake and now I am paying the price, over, and over, and over again. My life is basically in ruin, I am trying to salvage what I have left; but I take responsibility for it. I never blamed the SMPD, I never tried to down play it to my superiors, I never concealed it from anyone, even people whom I know can be extremly judgemental (police officers and the people here).

I have a new job but I have not even started yet. In the end it seems this is all about a speeding ticket anyway... I have learned something valuable from this though, and I think in the end I will be better for it. The best thing I can do is learn from my mistakes, and move on.

[Ranger337]

Originally posted by Nonsequitur



... I have learned something valuable from this though, and I think in the end I will be better for it. The best thing I can do is learn from my mistakes, and move on.

Well said Nonsequitur, that is just about all you can do at this point.

Good luck,
Ranger337

[trooper]

Non, I can't help but wonder is it common practice for Police to arrest for traffic misdemeanors (other than dui) in CA.? Was there any type of confrontation during the contact that led to the arrest. I usually summons in a situation like yours even though it is a 12 point ticket (here at least), it does't quite sound like you guys were quite the "fast and the furious." Being employed by a law enforcement agengy doesn't make you a likely flight risk. Were the Officers aware of your employment status, I am not saying this would affect there decision or questioning there judgement, I am just curious. Also was this a know "Club Car" area? More details if you are up to it.:idea:

[Nonsequitur]

Originally posted by trooper
Non, I can't help but wonder is it common practice for Police to arrest for traffic misdemeanors (other than dui) in CA.? Was there any type of confrontation during the contact that led to the arrest. I usually summons in a situation like yours even though it is a 12 point ticket (here at least), it does't quite sound like you guys were quite the "fast and the furious." Being employed by a law enforcement agengy doesn't make you a likely flight risk. Were the Officers aware of your employment status, I am not saying this would affect there decision or questioning there judgement, I am just curious. Also was this a know "Club Car" area? More details if you are up to it.:idea:

Appearantly it is a "Car Club" area, and they stated that they were having a lot of "racing" around this area. The thing is that it is closed off from any side streets, so I can imagine that it has been used a lot.

They knew immediately what I was, as I had 2 uniforms in the back seat that were going to the cleaners the next morning. It seems that a few of my former co-workers feel that this is why they were so hard on me that night... This is purely conjecture though and not meant as a statement of fact.

Everything I had learned to that point had led me to believe that departments in our area, and mainly the department that I had belonged too did not arrest for these traffic misdemeanors, as the 23152 CVC (DUI) was the main offense that meritted this sort of reaction.

As it stands the San Mateo DA is not going to charge me with either of the counts on the citation, and has moved it to traffic court where my lawyer is pretty confident that it can be reduced or totally dropped. I am still in limbo there though...

I regret my mistake extremely, no doubt about it. In my humble opinion the primary officer over reacted to the whole thing, even the secondary officer was shocked when the citation was written. This was of course after I had been taken into custody and my vehicle impounded with my wallet and papers in it.

I tell you that it was not a good feeling being 30 miles out of San Francisco in a relatively strange town at 3:30 am, with no money, no wallet, and no cell phone. I am glad I was able to find a working public pay phone that allowed me to do collect calls! I had plenty of time to walk and think that night. I knew I had lost everything because of a moment of stupidity, and sometimes being alone with yourself at that time is the worst thing in the world.

I have a new, interim job, doing security... It is a pretty good place, but still a bit humiliating. Hopefully I will one day get a chance to put right what I threw away. The next application period starts shortly, on 11-26-01, but I need to know whether I will be able to apply or not based on the final determination of this.

Worst case scenario is that I will have to wait another two years...

I have learned a lot through this though, and I am picking up the peices of my life and moving on. I have learned that for some there is no such thing as professional courtesy, while I constantly am told tales of far worse that are let slip.

Oh well, I took responsibility, and I like to think that I came out with most of my honor intact.

Take this as you will...
Nonsequitur

As a side note: the SMPD never told me I was under arrest, told me to have a seat in the rear of the radiocar that I was only "detained" with the door open while they searched my vehicle (for God knows what)... They then transported me during the detention (they had not informed me I was under arrest or that I was going to be transported), at this time it was still just a moving violation in my mind and I could not work out why I was being taken into custody (in SF Misdemeanors are cite and release, let alone traffic misdemeanors)...

I never once gave them any trouble whatsoever, heck I thought I knew the mindset of a police officer having spent 17 weeks in the academy and gone through most of the training... They had good ID on me and all the paperwork on my vehicle, and I was sober and cooperative.

I am also a little bitter...

In the end it was my mistake to make, and I made it.

[Shadowknows]

Hey Nonsequitur, I have been following your post. I know several officers in our area that would cite you thats just they way they are. Don't judge everybody by them. I think you should continue to search and quit beating yourself up. Also after 23 years as LE. I retired and am working Hospital Security, nothing wrong with it not humiliating at all just remember your professionalisim. The local dept. around us calls us all the time to assist, our whole dept is retired officers. Just wanted to put in my 2cents.:bounce:

[Badge11]

Hey Non-

Thanks for the explanation. I'm sure it will help out those attending the academy.
In my opinion yes you did make a mistake. You should have alson known better since you were in the academy. The best thing to do in the academy and while in FTO is work and go home.
But I think you got screwed by the officers at the scene. I'm not trying to be judgemental of the SMPD officers, but if they knew who you were and what situation you were in, there's many more ways they could have handled it differently. I think a good long ass chewing or possibly a speeding ticket would have been sufficient. Should you have known better? Yes, but is it worth screwing your career over a stat?, No. No alchol, drugs, violence, traffic, good id, etc no need to arrest.
Well, you've got the right attitude and keep looking forward. Hopefully SFPD will give you another chance. If not, have you considered any other depts?
Good luck to you.

[DJOHNSON954]

Non,

I hope you get another shot for what it's worth. True, you made a mistake. I also feel it could have been handled differently. The level of professionalism you display when you talk about this is amazing. Keep a posotive attitide and drive on. Keep us posted on what happens.